Volume I

If the invitation is never offered then it seems fair to find another party.

It’s amazing what you can do when you have nothing else to do

Never Google your mother.

You can learn a lot about a person by going to a parade with them.

I’m on pre-tirement.

The thing I miss most is everything.

Don’t start treating me like an asshole, I already have a girlfriend for that.

The history of my life can be summed up in five local bars.

Volume II

I don’t have a smart phone, I have a smart-ass phone and it’s awesome at butt-dialing.

I don’t slow dance, it implies commitment

We have art so we don’t die of reality. Nietzsche

Daddy wants a watermelon

I want a massage so hard I’ll need a safety word.

The Habert Days:

Vodka tonic-the bitter old man drink; “Oh, you don’t like it? Fuck ya. Oh, you DO? Fuck ya.”

Smelling Elvis

It gets better with a little musical lubrication

If you don’t love New Orleans, you’re sober.

The mingling was getting intense.

The Age of Speculation!